This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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