Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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