Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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