Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
