He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
