In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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