yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
