Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
