yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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