I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
