Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
