After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize