I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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