i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
