I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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