4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
