Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
