Dude my mom stole all your condoms
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize