oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he was CRYING into my vagina
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
