do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize