talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
