THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
