yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
