Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
