you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
