Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
