you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
