Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I stole a fireplace last night.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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