spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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