I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
All I want is dick and wine.
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