I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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