Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
