We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
