I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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