i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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