a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize