Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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