need another drink. this is the easiest way
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize