I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
