Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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