do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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