we're blogging at a bar
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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