suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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