So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
