HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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