Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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