You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
