They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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