I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
