My friends, they love my intelligence
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
