Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
