Grow some girl-balls and come out already
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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