I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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