We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
