Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
That was an excessively violent trivia night
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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