No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
