***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
