Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
