When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
