remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
