he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
