There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
