Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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