you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
