my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
