oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
