Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
