i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
