umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
