Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
