I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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