if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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