Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
