He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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