remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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