If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Is it because I queefed?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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