Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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