you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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